never confuse niceness for goodness

Sorry, could you elaborate for a non native speaker ? Do you mean something like "nice is fake good you present to people to shine" or am i missing totally ?

Hi, @baerd maybe I can help clarify a little.

Nice isn't always fake good, but it can be. People can be polite to each other while secretly hating each other. Someone might be kind to you but mean to others. Someone might say nice words while they do things that hurt you.

Some people act nice so that people don't notice they're actually bad.

@soft if you want to correct me about what I said here, please feel free. I don't want to misinterpret what you said.

@trashcat @baerd this is 100% on the nose and exactly what i meant!! 鈽猴笍馃挄

@trashcat @baerd @soft goodness can also be a private thing, like an internal "what I am" thing, while niceness is generally how you behave, and how you interact with people

so, for example, you can run a charity, or do a soup kitchen thing and feed people, which is a good person thing, but you can also be abrasive and short-tempered, which isn't a nice person thing

they can overlap, though, like that person running the soup kitchen can also be really polite and take care not to hurt anybody's feelings, which would make them both good and nice

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