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just robot girl shit (they forgot to take off the electrodes on my legs)

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me: your honor, you have to understand that i was simply going goblin mode. it was goblin o'clock. the gobbo-phone was ringing and i merely answered the call. just gobbin' outta control. i can't be found guilty of any crimes that may have ensued, per the goblin mode doctrine of jurisprudence.

judge: sir, this is simply a jury duty selection pool.

public defender: him! we want him! keep that guy!

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actually the demon core is my left nut. my right nut is called the angel core

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me, illustrator gremlin: nyehehehaheeheehehehh :teeth_face:

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common sense: stop drawing everything with the curvature pen tool in photoshop and learn to use illustrator!

me, bloodied and tied to a chair: make me!

common sense: [hitting my nutsack with a heavy rope like that James Bond movie] do vector drawings!!!

me, testicles knocked up into my body like a test-your-strength game at the carnival: NEVER!!

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By the way, Metal Gear Solid is *basically* also a fairy tale, Death Stranding is just much, much more overt about it

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you can just be a popstar. like, just decide you are one. no one can stop you

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*rocking in a chair back and fourth in a sitting fetal position*

not posting dick on main
not posting dick on main
not posting dick on main

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need me a girl in clown makeup with a riding crop

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child, wondering where trash goes: well someone must have thought of a good solution for all this

adults: we put it into very large holes and then put dirt on top

child: even the plastic?

adults: especially the plastic

child: oh my god

*you got any games on your phone voice* you got any tricks on your vape?? :bluecat_owo:

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stonerkitty.monster

a single-user instance occupied by SOFT 🌸